by Louis Shalako
1.) Write a best-selling book, (and I can't stress that enough.)
2.) Get a million-dollar advance from a major publisher. Try not to be too long about it.
3.) Slap an award-winning cover on it and get great reviews from the New York Times, Oprah's Book Club and every other reviewer of note.
4.) Write a lot more best-selling books just as fast as you can, all edited by award-winning editors from major publishers, and oh; don't forget to get million-dollar advances for aforesaid books from aforesaid major publishers.
5.) Be nice to everybody, even when you feel like poking your eyes out with knitting needles.
SPECIAL FREE BONUS TIP:
Say 'Squee!' a lot and post some of the finest cupcake pictures since the dawn of time on Facebook and Pinterest.