Aliens Better Think Twice Before They Land In My Backyard!

by Louis B. Shalako

c2010

All Rights Reserved


Ever since the late 1940’s, there have been a large number of UFO reports by individuals who appear to sincerely believe that they have witnessed alien spacecraft. (Refer to Project Blue Book, or the million UFO videos on youtube.com; etc.) They're, 'firmly convinced' they've had a real experience.

Some have claimed abduction. A few photos exist which, while not exactly defying analysis, cannot be clearly proven as hoaxes.

It is not my intent to state with certainty whether or not alien spacecraft have indeed visited our lovely planet.

There is little doubt that people have, on occasion, seen lights in the sky that cannot be readily identified. And it’s true that some photos and amateur films are quite provocative.

It should be noted that what one wants to see often appears and, of course, those who are capable of taking things on faith have a predisposition to believe with little material evidence.

I myself have seen things in the night sky, which I could not immediately identify. Having a reasonably good imagination, it was enough to make my hair stand on end.

Later, I decided it was probably tundra swans, lit from below by the lights of the cty. It seemed obvious that they were traveling at 40 knots; at an altitude of maybe 1,000 feet, and not a squadron of UFO’s in echelon formation, doing 120,000 mph 90 mlles up.

Yet I can’t say for certain that they were swans either – really just pale, amorphous blobs that seemed to flicker and shimmer in their silent path o’erhead, going north in early spring.

My point is this: If in fact aliens have visited this planet and are in the process of studying our culture for scientific or other reasonable purposes, then let them do it properly. They should send an embassy to the United Nations and establish their credentials. They should reveal themselves if their purposes are legitimate and honourable. I suggest this for their own safety and convenience. (Ours, too.)

Because otherwise, as far as I'm concerned, it's war. We have the right to know who's on our planet.

Identify yourselves and your place of origin.

What is your business on this planet?

Do you have anything to declare?

Are you bringing any meats, fruits or vegetables, or exotic animals onto the planet?

How long are you staying? How much money are you carrying?

We have the right to know these things, I can assure the reader of that.

Honestly, the aliens are better off to cooperate.

Because until then, if I can’t sleep one night, get up at three a.m. and see a bunch of bleepin' aliens traipsing around in my backyard, I swear I'm gonna pop a God-damned arrow into one of them. No questions asked. They're there at their own risk. They've been studying us long enough to know better, that's what I'm saying.

One night back in 1998, when I was living in Port Franks, Ontario; I saw three lights in the southern sky, about ten degrees above the horizon. First, one appeared. Then another behind it, and then another. The group slowly spread apart, then the delta formation stabilized. The trio of bluish-white dots cruised across the night sky in a northeasterly direction, covering about sixty degrees of the sky, then silently faded out. The whole process took maybe 20 to 30 seconds.

What really ticked me off was the thought of them up there looking down at me…and laughing.

Yep. If I ever get my hands on one of them little guys (or if you prefer, 'gals.') I’m gonna throttle them.

The body of an alien could be worth billions. Then I’d really be somebody.

And it’s all nice and legal. There is no law against murdering aliens for profit, is there?

I mean let’s face it. Aliens were not created in God’s own image and obviously they have no souls to worry about. I’m just, 'a good capitalist.'