by Louis Bertrand Shalako
c2010
All Rights Reserved
I know so little about internet marketing that I read pretty thoroughly. While I am always interested in what other people have to say on the subject, I don’t always have the sort of experienced judgment to know which writer really has something to say and which one doesn’t.
I also have a few thoughts of my own, which are either lame, or brilliant, depending upon who we ask! But in my own limited experience, the toughest calls are ‘which contracts not to sign,’ quite honestly. Those are real gut-twisting decisions; because you don’t know when or if you will ever get another offer, let alone a better one.
Going by classic theory, I should be sending out complimentary promotional copies, and according to one highly placed source, ‘the more the better.’ His absolutely top-line publisher gives him fifteen or twenty, and he would prefer a hundred. If I mailed paperback books by Canada Post, it is slow. But we also know that it will eventually get there. We have no way of knowing what happens to that mail once it arrives at its destination, but someone would open that envelope or package for sure. That paperback is going home with somebody.
From ‘createspace,’ this would cost $11.99 plus shipping and handling, (last time I looked.)
It is a free gift. It has value. It is tangible. You can hold it in your hand and feel the weight. You can wrap it up and give it to Aunt Minnie for Christmas.
With an e-book, theoretically I could send out an unlimited number of free promotional copies, a gift of some value, if you will. I probably should be doing it, but I’m not. Here’s why.
Theoretically, if I have the right e-mail address it will arrive very quickly at its destination. Ah, but we ourselves are rather reluctant to click on attachments, and so are they. We know there is some risk in clicking on a link, and so do they. We have junk folders and spam filters, and so do they.
The problem is, with a free promotional e-book, is how to let them know that it is safe, or that it is coming, or available upon request. How do they even know that it is there? The trick is to let them know who you are, maybe.
There are other factors. Aunt Minnie doesn’t know what an e-book is, and does not own a computer, and doesn’t want Kindle, Kobo, or whatever. People love books, and change is often threatening or merely unwelcome. It is a free country. It is her choice, and my challenge.
How much time staff members spend combing through e-mail junk and spam folders is unknown to this writer.
Now. Any system can be defeated by using its own rules against it. And my business model is predicated on getting every possible service for free. That’s because this February is my fifteenth anniversary on disability, and poverty has its own logic which I won’t dwell on. I guess you could say education costs money, or time, or effort, or something.
At the risk of seeming to be hypersensitive, I am perfectly aware that I am in no position to offer e-book advice to aspiring authors. I know no more than you do, and arguably less. It is true that I could self-publish POD with createspace and lulu.com. The former would cost about $300.00 US or thereabouts. I simply don’t have the money, and I will not have that money for months, maybe longer. Four titles equals $1200.00, and I would have one author’s copy per title. This is ‘vanity publishing,’ with all due respect, at its best.
I may be sarcastic, to some small degree. Buddy, there’s no way in hell that I’m throwing that on my credit card at 28 % per annum. I want to see some sales and some traffic. I want to generate some buzz. Show me the demand for my product and I will find the money to invest in increased profits. Show me enough demand, I will go the bank and ask for a loan!
And I make no claims whatsoever about knowing what I am doing. It is an experiment, no more, no less. I have nothing to lose and much to gain, and you win by playing the game.
The only way I can lose is if I quit; and a ‘quick victory’ is a myth of military science.
That is the theory, until someone respectable and credible tells me different; or my circumstances change.
So how do I defeat the system? I have a plan. I have the wit to conceive it and the audacity to carry it out.
The details of this plan are confidential, but will become apparent as time goes on.
Oh, and don’t forget to sign up as a follower on my blog.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Louis Is In The Building.
by Louis Bertrand Shalako
c2010
All Rights Reserved
I have abandoned several stories in the last week or ten days. It's clear that I am floundering. Wallowing, even. Ideas are sometimes hard to come by, and I don't necessarily delete these things, but they are essentially spiked. I have abandoned, 'Home to Ithaca,' and the western, and something else...whatever.
To write sci-fi, and then detective fiction, and then horror, and then try a western is not a bad thing as far as it goes, but it lacks focus. When I submitted the detective story, I seriously worried about what might happen if it was accepted.
What would I think? What would I do then?
Somehow I have managed to weasel my way into the sci-fi building, through a basement window. The glass was cracked, the putty was missing in places, and the latch no good, I guess you could say.
But I am in the building.
While the training in spec-fic certainly has not harmed me, to try to learn another genre right from the ground up would take time.
As for the western, 'Guns at Mule Creek,' by 'Gus Whittaker,' (or 'whatever') it has its allure. But I would be bringing nothing new to the genre. I'm sure I could pulp out 75,000 words.
More than anything else, I am tired, oh, so tired. With four e-books out there and twenty or so stories to show for it, I guess I have a right. It has been a good year.
While I have earned a rest, I also don't know what to do next, and that is sheer hell!
c2010
All Rights Reserved
I have abandoned several stories in the last week or ten days. It's clear that I am floundering. Wallowing, even. Ideas are sometimes hard to come by, and I don't necessarily delete these things, but they are essentially spiked. I have abandoned, 'Home to Ithaca,' and the western, and something else...whatever.
To write sci-fi, and then detective fiction, and then horror, and then try a western is not a bad thing as far as it goes, but it lacks focus. When I submitted the detective story, I seriously worried about what might happen if it was accepted.
What would I think? What would I do then?
Somehow I have managed to weasel my way into the sci-fi building, through a basement window. The glass was cracked, the putty was missing in places, and the latch no good, I guess you could say.
But I am in the building.
While the training in spec-fic certainly has not harmed me, to try to learn another genre right from the ground up would take time.
As for the western, 'Guns at Mule Creek,' by 'Gus Whittaker,' (or 'whatever') it has its allure. But I would be bringing nothing new to the genre. I'm sure I could pulp out 75,000 words.
More than anything else, I am tired, oh, so tired. With four e-books out there and twenty or so stories to show for it, I guess I have a right. It has been a good year.
While I have earned a rest, I also don't know what to do next, and that is sheer hell!
Friday, November 26, 2010
Excerpt. 'Home to Ithaca,' (subject to change.)
by Louis Bertrand Shalako
c2010
All Rights Reserved
“Ithaca, here we come,” grinned Ulysses in anticipation of a good journey, feasting his eyes and his senses on the hills, and fields and pastures of Greece.
“It feels good to be dry again,” said the hoplite Aristides. “The ground still pitches underfoot, but the lingering memory of the wine last night helps, rather than hinders.”
“Some country air, and what a beautiful country we share, shall clear your head out!” noted Thucydides.
“No need to shout,” noted Ulysses, ambling along between the other two. “Feast your eyes, my friends, and feast your lungs, and your hearts, for surely that is the best cure for a well-earned hangover. Some good, honest walking is what you fellows require.”
He lengthened his stride and soon had them cursing and laughing.
“Slow down, Ulysses, or you shall walk alone!” said his elder companion, the sturdy and studious Thucydides. “Eager as you are to taste the sweet delights of home and the lovely Penelope, we will sleep by the road tonight one way or another.”
“Look at the olive trees,” sighed Aristides. “The gods may have Mount Olympus to themselves, heroes as we undoubtedly are. Give me home, and good honest toil upon my own soil. Give me peace and quiet, my wife and my daughters, my brothers and sisters, and my olive trees. Give me my sparkling stream and my good horses, for surely never was there a finer team.”
“You can speak or be silent, I shall enjoy this walk one way or another,” agreed Ulysses. “But, oh, if only I could fly, I would tarry not with you my friends, but go upon the wings of Pegasus!”
***
Author's note: So this is what I have bitten into and it sure looks interesting. As for putting Thucydides in there, it's early yet and it's easy enough to change a name. If you are already familiar with Homer's classic tale, then the challenges are easy to see, especially as I hope to make a short story of about 10,000-20,000 words.
I would also prefer to remain as true as possible to the spirit of the original and in some ways to ignore 'back story.' I have no idea of how long this will take or where it might eventually be published.
I have a simple nuts and bolts approach to writing. What I need is a good rough draft that has a beginning, a middle, a climax, and an ending that is nice and short.
By printing out the relevant book-notes studied by millions of students over the years, I can keep the basic facts straight. While not a big fan of fantasy, I think I can deal with the story in purely human terms, as if it were historical fiction and nothing else.
In some sense, Ulysses himself is a myth, and Homer's work is a hard act to follow. Like the character I am studying, I kind of like to take a few risks, but I also like to think it through.
So far, I'm having a blast. I can't wait for the bloodbath scene, and the final act, if I can call it that, may end up being sublime comedy.
As for the tendency to make it a sort of half-rhyming prose, I don't know why that is. It just sort of happened.
c2010
All Rights Reserved
“Ithaca, here we come,” grinned Ulysses in anticipation of a good journey, feasting his eyes and his senses on the hills, and fields and pastures of Greece.
“It feels good to be dry again,” said the hoplite Aristides. “The ground still pitches underfoot, but the lingering memory of the wine last night helps, rather than hinders.”
“Some country air, and what a beautiful country we share, shall clear your head out!” noted Thucydides.
“No need to shout,” noted Ulysses, ambling along between the other two. “Feast your eyes, my friends, and feast your lungs, and your hearts, for surely that is the best cure for a well-earned hangover. Some good, honest walking is what you fellows require.”
He lengthened his stride and soon had them cursing and laughing.
“Slow down, Ulysses, or you shall walk alone!” said his elder companion, the sturdy and studious Thucydides. “Eager as you are to taste the sweet delights of home and the lovely Penelope, we will sleep by the road tonight one way or another.”
“Look at the olive trees,” sighed Aristides. “The gods may have Mount Olympus to themselves, heroes as we undoubtedly are. Give me home, and good honest toil upon my own soil. Give me peace and quiet, my wife and my daughters, my brothers and sisters, and my olive trees. Give me my sparkling stream and my good horses, for surely never was there a finer team.”
“You can speak or be silent, I shall enjoy this walk one way or another,” agreed Ulysses. “But, oh, if only I could fly, I would tarry not with you my friends, but go upon the wings of Pegasus!”
***
Author's note: So this is what I have bitten into and it sure looks interesting. As for putting Thucydides in there, it's early yet and it's easy enough to change a name. If you are already familiar with Homer's classic tale, then the challenges are easy to see, especially as I hope to make a short story of about 10,000-20,000 words.
I would also prefer to remain as true as possible to the spirit of the original and in some ways to ignore 'back story.' I have no idea of how long this will take or where it might eventually be published.
I have a simple nuts and bolts approach to writing. What I need is a good rough draft that has a beginning, a middle, a climax, and an ending that is nice and short.
By printing out the relevant book-notes studied by millions of students over the years, I can keep the basic facts straight. While not a big fan of fantasy, I think I can deal with the story in purely human terms, as if it were historical fiction and nothing else.
In some sense, Ulysses himself is a myth, and Homer's work is a hard act to follow. Like the character I am studying, I kind of like to take a few risks, but I also like to think it through.
So far, I'm having a blast. I can't wait for the bloodbath scene, and the final act, if I can call it that, may end up being sublime comedy.
As for the tendency to make it a sort of half-rhyming prose, I don't know why that is. It just sort of happened.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Professionalism Check List. Common Errors.
by Louis Bertrand Shalako
c2010
All Rights Reserved
Re-write every story before making a new submission.
Use proper manuscript format, unless otherwise specifically stated.
Read the guidelines again, before each submission.
Put my ID on every submission except where otherwise specifically stated.
Include the word count on the submission itself unless otherwise stated.
Try to determine the country of the publisher and use the appropriate style, (U.S., U.K., Canada.)
Fact-check every single thing in the story where I am relying on memory.
Is this an appropriate submission?
Am I submitting to the highest possible paying market place?
Learn how to write a decent query or do not send it.
Note every submission in my List of Subs.
My most common errors: see list above.
c2010
All Rights Reserved
Re-write every story before making a new submission.
Use proper manuscript format, unless otherwise specifically stated.
Read the guidelines again, before each submission.
Put my ID on every submission except where otherwise specifically stated.
Include the word count on the submission itself unless otherwise stated.
Try to determine the country of the publisher and use the appropriate style, (U.S., U.K., Canada.)
Fact-check every single thing in the story where I am relying on memory.
Is this an appropriate submission?
Am I submitting to the highest possible paying market place?
Learn how to write a decent query or do not send it.
Note every submission in my List of Subs.
My most common errors: see list above.
Taxes and Death.
by Louis Bertrand Shalako
c2010
All Rights Reserved
Ten or fifteen years ago, the music industry lobbied the government of Canada to put a fifty cent tax on cassette tapes. This was because I was ripping off the music industry every time I bought a cassette tape to record my guitar practice.
That’s because I am a criminal. Oh, yeah, and that tax is still in place.
Why, it was only last week when somebody or other was looking for a new tax, because if I re-read the magazine I just purchased, I was ripping them off.
Oh, yeah, I remember now—some asshole wants to tax hard drives because every time I use my computer, I am ripping off their God-given (or God-damned,) rights. Somehow. I don’t know, it’s not my job to explain it, as the CRTC will rubberstamp it anyway. That’s their job.
So now the big Canadian music stars (Alannah Noniabu, Melville Straighto, The Knucklehead Shitberries, Freddie and the Fucksticks,) are lobbying the CRTC for a tax on MP-3’s, and of course the reason given is that somehow I am a criminal for liking music or something. An MP-3 is a stream of data, actually, but somehow the government doesn’t know this. They want to tax my data. That is the real issue here, but none of them will admit it—listen to the streaming lies coming out of their lying, thieving, fucking dingbat media outlets.
You know, it seems like it was only last year when I lobbied the CRTC against CTV’s (The Olympic Channel,) demand for a $10 per month tax on cable. Oh, yes, Canwest Global just sold their unprofitable EM broadcast stations to some foreign dingbat who will instantly transform those into money making outfits, (or otherwise they just got ripped off.) I guess that tax pays them to take it off Canwest’s hands. That and the thirteen percent HST in Ontario. That tax killed the BC premier. Dalton McGuinty seems pretty safe, for some reason. The mainstream media always says, the 'tax and spend' NDP. Hah! They haven't governed since the early nineties, ancient history. The media carried all the demands for the present massive deficit on their front pages and their evening news.
They also endorsed it in their editorials, yeah; it was called 'stimulus.'
You want to know the truth? I watch the Weather Network. Otherwise I can’t stand looking at the fucking television, and incidentally, the fact that ‘Heartland’ was picked up by CBC and French public TV is not exactly a ringing endorsement of the milieu.
(I won’t comment on French public TV. It’s not my job, thank you very much.)
I haven’t been to a movie in the theatre for thirty years. I haven’t been in a bookstore in about the same amount of time. I have not bought a CD in at least ten years. I haven’t bought a magazine since 1986.
I fell from a scaffold and broke my back in three places, but I got a fuck of a lot more spine than you piss-ants. Just for the record, I’m not asking for anything.
What I am doing, is telling you fucking jerks to fuck off.
One more thing: I hereby demand a fifty-cent tax on every every e-book reader bought by a Canadian. That’s because I have four published e-books. And I’m getting ripped off, I tell you. It’s just a rip-off, and every one of them is one hundred fucking percent Canadian Content.
I’ll be back next week with a few more formats and demands. Why, I’m a Canadian artist, I tell you. I’m a fucking star.
Why don’t you fucking assholes go apply for a cultural grant or something, your fucking back’s not fucking broken.
Aw, fuck, somebody please kill me.
c2010
All Rights Reserved
Ten or fifteen years ago, the music industry lobbied the government of Canada to put a fifty cent tax on cassette tapes. This was because I was ripping off the music industry every time I bought a cassette tape to record my guitar practice.
That’s because I am a criminal. Oh, yeah, and that tax is still in place.
Why, it was only last week when somebody or other was looking for a new tax, because if I re-read the magazine I just purchased, I was ripping them off.
Oh, yeah, I remember now—some asshole wants to tax hard drives because every time I use my computer, I am ripping off their God-given (or God-damned,) rights. Somehow. I don’t know, it’s not my job to explain it, as the CRTC will rubberstamp it anyway. That’s their job.
So now the big Canadian music stars (Alannah Noniabu, Melville Straighto, The Knucklehead Shitberries, Freddie and the Fucksticks,) are lobbying the CRTC for a tax on MP-3’s, and of course the reason given is that somehow I am a criminal for liking music or something. An MP-3 is a stream of data, actually, but somehow the government doesn’t know this. They want to tax my data. That is the real issue here, but none of them will admit it—listen to the streaming lies coming out of their lying, thieving, fucking dingbat media outlets.
You know, it seems like it was only last year when I lobbied the CRTC against CTV’s (The Olympic Channel,) demand for a $10 per month tax on cable. Oh, yes, Canwest Global just sold their unprofitable EM broadcast stations to some foreign dingbat who will instantly transform those into money making outfits, (or otherwise they just got ripped off.) I guess that tax pays them to take it off Canwest’s hands. That and the thirteen percent HST in Ontario. That tax killed the BC premier. Dalton McGuinty seems pretty safe, for some reason. The mainstream media always says, the 'tax and spend' NDP. Hah! They haven't governed since the early nineties, ancient history. The media carried all the demands for the present massive deficit on their front pages and their evening news.
They also endorsed it in their editorials, yeah; it was called 'stimulus.'
You want to know the truth? I watch the Weather Network. Otherwise I can’t stand looking at the fucking television, and incidentally, the fact that ‘Heartland’ was picked up by CBC and French public TV is not exactly a ringing endorsement of the milieu.
(I won’t comment on French public TV. It’s not my job, thank you very much.)
I haven’t been to a movie in the theatre for thirty years. I haven’t been in a bookstore in about the same amount of time. I have not bought a CD in at least ten years. I haven’t bought a magazine since 1986.
I fell from a scaffold and broke my back in three places, but I got a fuck of a lot more spine than you piss-ants. Just for the record, I’m not asking for anything.
What I am doing, is telling you fucking jerks to fuck off.
One more thing: I hereby demand a fifty-cent tax on every every e-book reader bought by a Canadian. That’s because I have four published e-books. And I’m getting ripped off, I tell you. It’s just a rip-off, and every one of them is one hundred fucking percent Canadian Content.
I’ll be back next week with a few more formats and demands. Why, I’m a Canadian artist, I tell you. I’m a fucking star.
Why don’t you fucking assholes go apply for a cultural grant or something, your fucking back’s not fucking broken.
Aw, fuck, somebody please kill me.
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