Sunday, August 7, 2011

Basic copy editing.

c2011 (S)


This is an excerpt from 'The Shape-Shifters.'

Sergeant Cournoyer was dreaming in his warm bed, snug in the arms of Orpheus, when his wife slapped him upside of the head. He awoke groggily, in a half-drunken state. The prescription sleeping pills he used occasionally for insomnia often had this effect on him. Grace handed him the phone with a dark look, as a quick glance at the clock showed it was after twelve. Oh, God, just this once she had been trying to sleep instead of reading half the night.

“Yes? What?” he asked.

It took a minute to sink in. What the voice was telling him was right off the wall…but maybe not!

“What? Where?” he asked, a little more lucid now.

Then Sergeant Cournoyer slammed the phone down without ceremony and leapt out of bed. At this time of night, and since it wasn’t his shift, he whipped open the closet door and reached for a pair of jeans and a western shirt. Pure muscle memory took over.

His hands knew the routine.

“I have to go, Honey,” he said over his shoulder as he rammed his legs in one at a time.

Here's the edited version. Bear in mind this is my second time through the manuscript!

Sergeant Cournoyer lay dreaming in his warm bed, snug in the arms of Orpheus, when his wife slapped him upside of the head. He awoke in a half-drunken state. The prescription sleeping pills he used occasionally for insomnia often had this effect. Grace handed him the phone with a dark look. A quick glance at the clock showed it was after twelve. Oh, God, just this once she was trying to sleep instead of reading half the night.

“Yes? What?” he asked.

Still groggy, it took a minute to sink in. What the voice was telling him was right off the wall.

“What? Where?” he asked, a little more lucid now.

Sergeant Cournoyer slammed the phone down without ceremony and leapt out of bed. At this time of night, and since it wasn’t his shift, he whipped open the closet door, reaching for a pair of jeans and a western shirt. Muscle memory took over. His hands knew the routine.

"I have to go, Honey,” he said over his shoulder as he sat heavily on the edge of the bed and rammed his legs in.


Notes: I wrote this in the winter of 2008, (I think.) There are all kinds of little writing errors in it, which can be disturbing on the one hand, and kind of uplifting on the other. What it means is that I have learned a lot by studying blogs, websites, and the work of other, far more competent authors. I'm taking out semi-colons, looking at every dialogue tag, removing adverbs, tightening up word count, sentence structure, and keeping the words in their most logical and economical order.

Basic copy editing is far more than checking for spelling errors and typos, or using the grammar checker on the word processing program. I can remove words from a sentence, and grammar check has no problem with it. I can put words in, and grammar check has no problem with it. But which is best? Each sentence involves a series of value judgements. The basic premise is to make it easy to read, and make it a pleasure to read.

The third time I go through this book, I will still be changing things. But when we run out of things to fix, she's done and ready to go. Projected publishing date for 'The Shape-Shifters,' is on or about September 1. In the meantime, I have to get my ISBN, format, and finalize the marketing image. I've already written a pretty good blurb, although it could use some fine tuning. I will go through this book as many times as I need to.

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