Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts

Friday, January 23, 2015

Mental Pain Control Techniques, and Writing.

Old memories. (Billy Hathorn, Wiki.)









Louis Shalako




No one likes going to the dentist. 

When I was growing up, the old air-powered drill had a speed of about 750 rpm and the doctor wasn’t shy with the novocaine because you really had to pedal to get it going that fast.

It was painful, and it seemed to take forever when he put the eighth-inch grinding stone on there and had a bash at the old tooth.

When I was a certain age, the doctor was drilling away, and it was sheer hell. I hadn’t slept the night before, and the fact is that I was afraid of the dentist. For whatever reason, I liked a certain kind of car. I had just been driving along a winding road in autumn in my little Austin Mini. It doesn’t sound like much, but when you are young, and you have just gotten your license, it is a new and unique experience. The car had a free-flow exhaust tip on the back end and it sounded all right to a seventeen year-old.

It made an impression—and the other car I had been driving recently was an M.G.B that I borrowed from a local used car lot at the corner of East and Ontario streets. It was maroon, the engine was tuned nicely and there was a light mist falling. I let the clutch out a bit hard and it spun wheels and fishtailed when I turned at an intersection. She snapped back with a bit of opposite lock. It was easy enough to control. It was autumn. I took the car around a few blocks and brought it back, telling them I would try and save up some more money, and then I probably tried out an Opel GT or something. 

They were asking about thirteen hundred for that one. That car was metallic blue, had a white racing stripe up the hood, and was shod in Cragar rims and big meats, 50 and 60-series tires on aluminum rims. It had a very small padded steering wheel with thick foam on the rim. It handled like one might expect, but I eventually went on to buy an MG.

Somehow, to take my mind off the pain and the amount of time it was taking, I did my best to visualize myself in an open sports car, driving down a curving road in hilly country. I tried to recreate the burbling note of the engine and exhaust, to feel the wheel in my hand, and to see the leaves falling through beams of sunlight, coming in on a low angle through the branches overhead on a warm and gentle fall day in southern Ontario.

The funny thing is that it worked. It worked well enough, that at some point the doctor stopped drilling. He put the drill on the tray and started messing around with some kind of paste, metal or whatever, it was all amalgam back then. In later years the stuff falls out or people have it taken out and replaced with more modern materials. I think I impressed myself that day.

It worked well enough that I remembered that experience. That must be at least thirty years ago.

Much stronger and much more advanced techniques are probably taught in certain schools, but subjects under torture for any length of time probably break down fairly quickly. All they have to do is start drilling a tooth and most of us would probably tell them anything they wanted to know…we’d sing like canaries, wouldn’t we?

The M.G.B. had good steering, it sat low to the ground. The gear shift lever has been described as somewhat like the bolt on a good sporting rifle. The brakes were good enough for their time and price, one would say. It’s a lot of fun to drive. But the real lesson is one of endurance—the endurance of pain, possibly even the lessening of pain. This is technically feasible, it’s not all just anecdotal evidence from guys like me, either.

Here is some information on EFT for Physical pain.

From time to time I suffer from depression. Yesterday, I had a bad hour or so, for no real reason other than the fact that it’s winter. There’s not much to do when you’re single and you’re broke except work, really. My work is solitary, perhaps even isolated, which is where social media is a real blessing sometimes.

Ah, but this is the thing: I was done one story and hadn’t started another. I had sixteen or seventeen hours of the day to kill before I could go to bed again—this is typical depressive thinking, one might observe with whatever editorial detachment one might have.

And then I started into another story. When working on a story, we can escape into that world, in fact the more thoroughly we engage with it, the more convincing it will be.

The first person a salesman has to convince is him or herself. It’s kind of a no-brainer, but if you don’t have some regard for the product you are selling, you will have great difficulty selling that product.

Sales is personality-based. You have to love the customer, and you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. You need some sincerity, or you really are a snake-oil rep, totally cynical and hard-hearted.

Once you as a writer are convinced—and my new story, set in a fishing camp up around Espanola, Ontario, has me convinced to some extent—then it takes on a life of its own. It is a place to escape to in the very same way that M.G. was a place of refuge when the doctor was drilling into that nasty old molar.

One might think that in a few days, I will have another story done and then I will be looking for some new place to escape to. I have a few more short story ideas to keep me going for a while.

Hopefully by March or April, possibly in May, I really need to head off to Paris, (mentally), so that I can research and write another sort of story. I sort of plan those because it’s a major commitment of time, effort and focus to write a longer work. Short stories will help to make it through the winter.

What is your dream vacation?

Sure beats that nasty old dentist chair.
I don’t know about you guys, but a little love, a little romance, or maybe even just a good old fling holds a certain appeal. Someplace warm would be nice, but inside of the mind, it can be any season I want. Right?

Mentally, anyways.

As for vacations, I can’t afford anything else!


END

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Discipline; Never Underestimate a Kid With a Dream.

Nothing can stop me.









Louis Shalako





A couple of days ago, I was crying in front of the computer. That went on for a couple of days.

Today, I feel all right. Yesterday, I was thinking back to one or two good lines in my recent novel, and laughing my guts out as I drove to the smoke shack. It was manic to some degree.

Life has its ups and downs, and yet we can’t let that stop us. This profession can be an emotional roller-coaster ride at times. Our own personality comes into play as well.

When I was having a bad day, I was still clicking on them buttons, editing that book or story, publishing this or that, making up a cover or just checking the emails.

It seems to me that we are just monkeys sitting in a room full of typewriters hoping against all odds to write Shakespeare.

It’s like a big lab experiment, and some little grey aliens are trying to determine our level of intelligence or creativity. These things are sent to try us.

And try us they do.

A button lights up, and we have to hit it, or hit them in the proper combination. If we do that successfully enough, a bell sounds and a banana pops out of the feeding chute or something; and there you go.

You’re performed your task successfully. You’ve gotten your reward. It’s a kind of feedback loop.

The same holds true for when you’re feeling pretty good and would much rather be elsewhere.

We still want that banana, and so we hang in there!

Much of my job entails waiting, waiting, endless waiting, for some page or program simply to open up. It makes the skin crawl sometimes.

Sometimes it’s all I can do not to scream at the thing.

And I can’t do it, can I? Think of the neighbours. Think of the little grey men and women in their little white suits and their big butterfly nets…

I’m not even allowed to scream, ladies and gentlemen.

 

***

A couple of weeks ago, I bought a new mouse. The old one was atrocious for formatting even the shortest story.

I would practically be foaming at the mouth in frustration, (possibly even muttering dire imprecations), even suffering from some real pain, bearing in mind a compression fracture at T-6 vertebral level and the 2.5-cm benign tumor growing on there. I’m right-handed, the mouse is at a certain level, and as yet, I haven’t had time to whip up even the simplest prototype of an ergonomic writer’s cockpit, where all surfaces would be at the perfect height and angle to minimize writer-fatigue and injury. It just seems to cause pain in there, but then so did hammering shingles or pole-sanding a drywall ceiling. Things are better now.

No matter how good or how bad I might feel, the one thing that has gotten me this far is discipline.

It’s carried me a long way.

The truth is that I also had a goal.

Nothing was going to happen there unless I made it happen. This is a metaphor for all of life, as I am sure the reader would agree. Strange how the rest of my life has also gotten better.

Must be some kind of coincidence…right?

***

This is my younger self. That kid must have had some kind of faith, and he was as stubborn as all hell, as I recall. Some kind of faith that if he put in the time, the world, the fucking universe, would do the right thing...and it will. It will. Just you watch. You wait.

You'll see.

Just some fucking kid with a dream, ladies and gentlemen.

Thanks, kid.

If it wasn['t for you, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be where I am today.

Our goal, as you may recall, was to achieve our financial independence. Perhaps even break our psychological and moral dependence.

Our goal was to learn how to write fiction. Our goal was to write and publish a book—even if it killed us. 

Which it clearly hasn’t…and so we decided to keep going.

And we are in the process of succeeding, in spite of anything that the government, or society, or our fellow human beings can put in our way.

(That frickin’ Obama. Jeez! – ed.)

Let’s be honest: life happens to all of us.

We are succeeding, ladies and gentlemen, in spite of what our own perceptions also can (and do) put in our way. 

***

The difference is effort.

No honest effort is truly wasted, no matter how long it takes to pay off.

It’s the same as any other job. The only major difference is that I am no longer on piecework for someone else. I will never be laid off or run out of work.

I create my own projects.

I decide what gets to happen next.

I am my own man, and answer to no one.

On a Saturday night, where one person might go out and another might stay home, watching TV with family and friends, my mind is buzzing with new ideas and new insights on this big old machine we call the internet. 

The odds are that I am probably working, for working is my entertainment, I guess. I like it that much.

Every so often, we manage to crack one small variable in that larger personal algorithm, and then we see some real progress.

The learning curve doesn’t flatten out or anything like that—not unless you want it to.

But once you get a little ways up from the ground, you can see a long ways and everything down below takes on a whole new aspect.

It’s a pretty good feeling, as I’m sure the reader can imagine.

All it really takes is the discipline to keep at it.

And never underestimate a kid with a dream.


END

Here’s the latest in the Maintenon Mystery Series:



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