Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 8, 2024

Serving the Higher Goddess. Geoff Lane, Radio, Television and Journalism Arts Instructor. Louis Shalako.

Geoff Lane and student Corey McCrindle in the newsroom.






Louis Shalako



 

LANE, Geoffrey Helliar - Peacefully at his residence on Tuesday, August 28, 2012, Geoff Lane passed away at the age of 83. Beloved husband of Ilse Lane (nee Knight). Loving father of Stephen Geoffrey Lane and Marcus Ashley Lane. Cherished grandfather of Morgan Ashley Lane and Zachary Andrew Lane. Geoff was a dedicated family man, journalist, educator and sailor who delighted in taking family, friends and students on his sailboat. He was passionate about world affairs, communications and the world of nature. 

A simple obituary, in twenty-five words or less, can tell you an awful lot, and at the same time, virtually nothing, about a man’s life.

I know so little about him. It seems presumptuous to write about Geoff, and yet he had a huge influence, on my life to some degree, and so many others, but also to my attitudes and my way of looking at things. Facts, in particular.

In a recent column for First Monday, veteran journalist Dan McCaffery mentioned Geoff Lane, Lambton College and the RTJ, (Radio, Television and Journalism Arts) course, where he attended in 1971 according to the story. Lambton College was officially dedicated in 1969, and there is in fact a cornerstone marking that occasion.

It is unclear to me if Geoff created the RTJ program from scratch. If so, he would have had help. In the very first year they would have had teachers for Broadcasting, Graphic Arts, Photography, English 101, and they would have all had to work together in order to have everything ready for that first class.

Geoff came to Sarnia from the Detroit Free Press. He was the editor of the Sarnia Observer for many years. He was very British. Yet I can’t say for sure where he was born. I do not know where he was educated—one can almost assume it was not Oxford or Cambridge, to say that he studied at an industrial college in London or somewhere in the heartlands would only be a set of assumptions. I would like more information than that.

As for why someone would emigrate from the U.K., that is somewhat easier to guess.

After the Second World War, Britain was bankrupt. Unemployment would have been high. A real block to employment for the young and inexperienced would have been created by the demobilization of hundreds of thousands of service men and women. It takes time to switch from tanks and aircraft to consumer goods. It takes time to pay off a huge national debt. It took time to create the modern social welfare state, in the meantime, things were not very good. The motivation would have been there. This was a disciplined young man, and one must also assume that as a young person alive during WW II, Geoff would have been reading the daily papers. He would have listened to the BBC on the radio, sitting around in the front room with the rest of the family…all of this would have been up close, and very, very personal when V-1 buzz bombs are falling down from the sky.

It was not something you could ignore, and we might also consider the likelihood that all the male figures in his life had served. He had a lot to live up to, if you take my meaning.

This is pure speculation on my part. I have no real facts. Memory is a reconstructive process, and it is hardly accurate in that sense.

But. You don’t edit the local daily without some strong element of self-control. Geoff had a story, he probably told it to every first-year class he taught. He had been in the Royal Army. It was 1948, in Palestine, and he was part of a detachment of troops detailed to escort the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem down to a ship in Haifa harbour, which would take him to safety in Cyprus or somewhere. It was a dangerous time. The situation was fraught with danger, what with the creation of an Israeli state, with Arab and Jewish terror gangs, and the U.K. troops slated to withdraw. This kind of experience, military experience, is one of the keys to understanding his character. He was there, it was a part of history, and it was the birth of a nation, for better or worse, one which still dominates the headlines of today.

It was an important story, and that is why he told it.

A modern college or university newsroom...

Did Geoff love his students? Dumb question, but I think he just loved people. You have to have a reason to choose journalism as a career, and that one’s a big plus. It was a kind of service. In December of 1983, knowing that I was having money problems, Geoff went to the Bursar’s office and came back with a cheque for $500.00. My old man was so impressed, he gave me $500.00 for Christmas so that I could stay in school.

That only lasted so long, and at the end of January, Geoff made a couple of phone calls.

A weekly in Dresden was looking for a reporter, and I drove down there, and showed the editor a few samples of my work. All of which came from the Lambton Leader, the student newspaper published by the good old RTJ program. Well, they couldn’t really use me, (I had zero experience), but the gentleman made a couple more phone calls…Ted Cranston, the publisher of Cash Crop Farming Publications, would give me an interview. First thing Monday morning. Located in Delhi, Ontario, they had three weekly papers and two or three small industrial magazines. The rest is history, and this story really isn’t about me. A journalist does not inject himself into the story. It’s not all about me, in other words.

Anyhow, chalk one up for the old boy network.

Trouble is, there’s more. On our class trip, the whole bunch of us boarded a couple of passenger vans and headed for Detroit. Our first stop was to watch a taping of Kelly and Company, a syndicated local production of Channel 7, WDIV as I recall. It was a live audience. At some point, it was giveaway time. We were told to check the number under our seats. Mine was Number 51. And I had won a gift certificate from Hudson’s, a high-end department store, for a Seiko watch, valued at $140.00 U.S., in 1983 dollars no less. So, Geoff takes the whole darned busload to a store in Southfield, Michigan, where I ran in, got my watch, and ran out, and then it was a quick stop at the Renaissance Centre, running around, riding the elevators, and goggling like tourists, (or school kids), and then over the bridge to Windsor, where we toured the Windsor Star among other places. Yeah, when they called my number, the co-host, Marilyn Turner, came over. I stood up and told her I was part of a group from Lambton College…and it was, quite a group, as a ragged cheer rose up through the crowd and kids were chanting ‘Louis…Louis…Louis…yay’.

I guess maybe that’s why Geoff did it—that and a few other reasons, one must suppose.

Where did Geoff meet Ilse? Did they emigrate at the same time, or did they meet in North America. If nothing else, these are good questions. How did they end up in Detroit, how did they decide to come to Sarnia. Why did Geoff leave the Observer? My instinct, rather than my recollection, is that the paper changed hands, in which case a change of management, editorial and otherwise, would be de rigeur for any new owner…

Geoff would have been editor while Lambton College was being built. The whole community college thing was a new initiative, and would have been front-page news when Sarnia had a population of 50,000 people, not counting Point Edward and the old Township of Sarnia. It would be an opportunity, and then there is that sailboat. Teachers have the whole summer off, and he had a young family…the man was nothing if not intelligent.

Journalism is the first draft of history, and Geoff certainly knew that. There is also that work-life balance, and he knew that too.

One of our first assignments was to pick a story from the daily news and write our own version of it. I picked a story of a ship collision in the St. Clair River. I don’t think too many people phoned first-hand sources, no one went around with their camera and got their own head-and-shoulders shots. It was September or October and we were a bunch of first year students. With several local papers and radio stations, the evening news out of Windsor, London, Detroit and Toronto, the basic facts were clear enough…I don’t recall too many of the details, perhaps it was the name of a ship or the captain or whatever, but something struck me, and I wrote it as a humorous story. Geoff hauled me aside the next day, and politely informed me, “We don’t make fun of death and destruction.”

That’s fair enough. I had never seriously considered a career as an anchorman on the evening news. Unlike some of the other males, I wasn’t too interested in being a DJ on the radio—those guys mostly dropped journalism within three weeks, even though writing for the news and having some regard for factuality might have been helpful in the local radio industry. The daily grind of community journalism is more work than play, (I suppose I could have done it), but the truth is, I just wanted someone to teach me how to write a story. I wanted to write books, and the RTJ program was at least something—it was at least relevant, and if nothing else, you get paid a little money to go to school and then you have a reason, to write a story. There is also someone who will read it, and a bit of feedback from someone other than your mother is extremely helpful. Geoff knew that about me—he told me once, “You need to get some criticism from someone who doesn’t love you—”

I grinned and nodded, understanding exactly what he meant. It wasn’t exactly an unspoken message. He wasn’t all that interested in reading my fiction, ladies and gentlemen.

Can’t say as I blame him for that.

He had a saying.

“Check your sources.”

Marc's Facebook page is not very active, but we have reached out and may get more info.
If you are covering a story in a small town, far, far away, you have no idea of what a bridge or culvert, or any other project should cost. We are essentially reporting statements, made by other people, and how in the hell would I know if a bridge is worth six million, or five million, or four and a half million, or whether someone is corrupt and simply lying. On the other hand, some big conspiracy is also kind of unlikely. The point is, we take other people’s word for an awful lot of things in this life, but in journalism, it’s wise to check what we can.

This was amply demonstrated to me one day. I have no idea of whether Geoff was pissed off at me, or whether he simply picked one student in any particular class, and ran a bit of a game on them, and relying on us to talk about it. But. It went a little bit like this. The college was bringing in paid parking. One dollar a day, one can imagine the controversy at the time. I am being facetious, but young people being what they are, students being generally broke as they are, but the school paper had some obligation to cover it. Geoff asked me to go next door—literally, the very next door down the hallway and talk to Tom Neal. A school has a faculty. It has an administration, and it has those people dedicated to plant and property. Simply put, the college president doesn’t necessarily decide who gets the snow-plowing and grass-cutting contracts. Tom Neal was one of my mother’s cousins, (it’s a small town after all), I knew that much, and he worked in that particular department.

So, with trusty pen and notebook in hand, I went next door. There were a few glass-fronted office cubicles at the back of a larger space, there was a male sitting there at his desk, and the sign beside the door said ‘Tom Neal’.

The gentleman had reddish hair, blue eyes and at least something, of a family resemblance. I sort of figured this had to be it. I knocked, introduced myself, and proceeded to talk to him, and read off my half a dozen questions or so…

My little story appeared in the paper. Several days later, in our regular journalism lab, a very hands-on course it was, the phone rings and Geoff interrupts himself to answer it. He says it’s for me. The other students have no idea, of course—but then, neither did I.

I am speaking to Tom Neal. He thanks me for the story, that’s all right I tell him. He says he agrees with everything in it. Huh? Only real problem is, he doesn’t remember speaking to me. He does not recall any such interview. He has no idea of who the hell I am—and what’s up, exactly. All you can do is to apologize. To offer to print a retraction. He says—essentially—what’s the point, and in fact we never did print any sort of retraction, apology, explanation. I have no idea of what really happened there. I have no idea, to this day, of who that other guy really was. Maybe there really was no other guy, and maybe it was just a very hands-on kind of lesson.

This is what I meant when I spoke of facts in the first part of this story.

Ma'at, wearing the Feather of Truth.

What the hell is a fact. A fact is whatever some person says is a fact—a fact is a matter of opinion, on some level. There are no universal truths.

***

Geoff had a thirty foot Grampian sailboat, tied up at the Sarnia Yacht Club. It is true, it was something of a tradition to take out the graduating class, those of us, who were left.

The attrition was something in that course. A first year class, on day one, might number up to thirty or more students. By day two, five or six were already gone. Two weeks later, you were left with a couple of dozen, by the end of the year, less than twenty. The second year class rarely started off with more than a dozen students, but by this time, simple persistence and stick-to-it-iveness had come into play and a good six or seven of us went out on the boat with Geoff. It was a warm, sunny, late spring day, with a light wind out of the northwest and just a nice chop to the water.

A Grampian 30.

I remember Geoff opened up a little panel, pressed a button and the auxiliary motor started up. One or two of us cast off the lines. This is how we backed out of the slip and maneuvered out of the harbour. This is how little I knew about sailboats. It had simply never occurred to me before—well, you learn something new every day, right.

I had, actually sailed a boat before, a thirteen-foot dinghy, and after a while, it was my turn to take over the tiller. I had a couple of the more attractive young women crank on the windlasses, tighten up them sails, and heeling over about as far as she was going to go, we set sail for the Bluewater Bridge and home.

Looking at the speedometer, a large, nautical gauge on the bulkhead where a small door led below, she was reading nine knots, which I reckon was about as fast as that thing ever went.

He gave me a little nod, which is about as good as it ever gets when you think about it…as for people, either you love them or they suck, big-time. The choice is yours, and make of it what you will.

As for Geoff, he served the higher goddess. Her name was not Money, or Power, or Rank or Privilege. Her name is Truth, ladies and gentlemen.

Her name is Truth.

 

END

 

Images: top photo by Louis Shalako, taken in September or October 1983. Students from Getty Images. Grampian 30 by Ahunt. The image of Ma’at, the Egyptian Goddess of Truth and Honesty, is in the public domain.

 

Louis has a free audiobook, A Stranger In Paris, an Inspector Gilles Maintenon Mystery.

See his works onArtPal.

Louis has ebooks and paperbacks available from Amazon.

 

Thank you for reading.

 

 

 

In this email, I refer to Chris Cooke as editor of the Sarnia Observer. This is incorrect, he was editor of the Sarnia Gazette. A little help is important in a news story. Writing fiction, I am entirely on my own.

Notes. The story on the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem states that he escaped to Egypt in 1946. Again, the dangers of relying on memory come into play here...maybe I just got the wrong date.

 

I've been thinking about this story for two or three months. I am writing it one sentence at a time, the subject is important on some personal level, and it's worth doing well. It's non-fiction and some semblance of facts might be helpful...especially as it's a tribute to my old journalism instructor, who passed away in 2012. I had planned to attend the funeral--that's the day my brother called, a bit of an emergency, and I had to go to London to help him move out in something of a hurry. I was a little pissed off, but there was this young woman, and I was sort of wondering if she'd turn up at the funeral. (I might want to leave that part out.)

#writing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wednesday, December 13, 2023

My Criminal Memoir, Part Twenty-Two. Dee. Louis Shalako.

She's all growed up now.













Louis Shalako



Dee. Some years had passed and Dee had grown into a beautiful young woman. In some sense, she was a statistically-average 20 year-old, but then I don’t particularly need humongous breasts, the massive backside which seems to be a fashion in certain circles these days. She was well-formed, with all the bits and pieces in all the right places…the sort of girl who really should have been painted on the nose of a B-17 bomber.

After seven years together, the relationship between my girlfriend and I had ended.

I have to accept full responsibility for that, admittedly, I was suffering from some pretty bad depression after my big failure in journalism. My girlfriend had a really good job, I was dead broke, and what was almost worse, there was some pressure to marry. Willy told me. He told me I had six months to propose, or she was probably going to walk anyways. His wife and my girlfriend, were very good friends. The information was credible enough.

Truth is, I broke off with her, and to say that my depression got even worse, and went on and on and on, with no relief in sight, would be nothing more than the truth—

So, when Zoomer finally got caught, and sent away, I was both single and at something of a loose end.

A guy like Zoomer, once he’s got a charge or two against him, he’s out on bail. If he fails to attend court, that’s another charge. If he evades the police, that’s another charge, if they get him on camera shoplifting, that’s another charge. When they finally do catch up to him, he’s got a long list of charges. Some of that goes away with a plea agreement, even so, he’s looking at some time in the bucket—and the local jail isn’t really meant for long terms of incarceration, with no provision for recreation, no provision for education, not even remedial reading, let alone a trade. Once he’s been sentenced, he’s likely to be assigned to a provincial (or federal), institution somewhere a little further down the road. This time he ended up in the Elgin-Middlesex Detention Centre, located in southwest London, Ontario.

When Dee asked me to drive her up to London so she could visit her boyfriend in jail, I probably hesitated a bit, but she was buying gas—maybe a cheeseburger and fries if I was lucky, and we probably did have a joint or two for the ride.

***

There I was, with a sweet-smelling young woman on the seat beside me. It’s a good hour’s drive up to London. She’s not overweight. She’s not all skinny and scrawny…she had nice knees, thick, dark brown hair, brown eyes and good shoulders. She was never heavy on the makeup, her nails were never big, long, painted claws. She’d never needed it, I suppose. She was exactly perfect just the way she was, and this is an assessment from forty years later—well, there’s no accounting for taste, as they say. Assuming four or so years younger than either Zoom or I, she would be twenty-two or twenty-three years old.

While her history was well known to me, what with being Zoom’s criminal accomplice, in all so many things, it was like the girl next door, wholesome and healthy. But she had the driver’s license, grandma’s car, she could get over the river into the U.S. where Zoom was banned. Her and a girlfriend could go over the river and come back with a couple of 60-oz bottles, a carton of cheap smokes and somehow stuff all that into their rather oversized purses.

Perfect, and yet one had to wonder what went on in her head…and mine.

Good enough to eat.

Yeah, if only I had the nerve.

We have to talk about something. She hadn’t finished high school, she had no real education, and as far as I could determine, no real ideas of her own. She seemed bright enough, and at some point we’re at the gate. We’re parking the car, pushing a button and gaining admittance to the public area of what is a maximum-security prison.

It’s pretty easy to get an idea. It’s pretty easy to get a bit of a crush, what with being lonely, as well as physically healthy. Truth is, I was as horny as a ten-peckered Billy goat, and I probably spent a little too much time thinking about the significance.

Truth is, she just needed a ride, no one else was available—or that dumb, yet Zoom seemed glad enough to see me as well as her—otherwise, he might not have seen her at all. Probably, her grandma would not allow her to take the vehicle for hours at a time, not to another town a hundred kilometres away, and most especially, not to visit Zoom in jail.

It was me or nothing, probably.

There it is, the Middlesex-Elgin Detention Centre.

And of course, I got this horrible crush on her.

It was sappy enough, as such things often are. But with me, she wouldn’t have to steal, or so I told myself. With me, she wouldn’t have to worry about me cheating on her, with me, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, with me, she wouldn’t have to worry about coming down HIV positive due to dirty needles and a lifelong amphetamine habit, which was one reason guys like Zoom don’t want to go to jail in the first place.

All they want, is to keep going—they’re never going to quit, and they’re usually the first ones to admit it.

As for your girlfriend, Zoom, quite frankly, she could do better. Maybe even a lot better.

Alas, it was not to be.

***

This went on for some weeks, visiting Zoom once a week or so. At some point it’s like Stockholm syndrome, where you’re sort of captive, and yet dependent. It was better than being alone all the time, and of course I had my thoughts. Which were predictable enough.

One night she called me up. Asked me what I was doing, and I said nothing much. She said she’d stop by and smoke a joint with me. I was grateful enough, what with being out of work six months in a row. There might have been a bit of a recession going on, or maybe I had just lost all confidence…

Depression will do a lot of funny things to an otherwise sensible person.

She pulled into the driveway, on a warm summer evening. We sat on lawn chairs in the door of my old man’s garage, and she pulled out a big joint and lit it up. She told me she was going out with one of her girlfriends and wondered if I wanted to come along—I shrugged, saying I was broke and she didn’t exactly insist.

Dee was wearing a pair of thin, short shorts in some floral pattern, with a bit of lace around the legs. She had brown leather sandals on, and she had good feet. Her top was thin, stretchy cotton, not exposing the midriff but not meant to be tucked in, either. She smelled good and the smile was good. Fuck, she hung around for fifteen or twenty minutes and then off she went, presumably to have a good time.

It’s a good way to remember her. Young, healthy, and cuter than the belly-button on a tsetse-fly, as my old man used to say.

It was also one hell of a signal, or so I remember thinking. The only question was what to make of it.

In the end, all I made was a big mess, and if nothing else, embarrassed the hell out of me, and probably, her too.

***

Speaking purely objectively, I knew what love was—and love lost. I also knew what sex was, and I’m thinking that might have been part of the problem. There was nothing wrong with my imagination, ladies and gentlemen. There was nothing objective about this situation, it was all subjective.

Somehow I knew her birthday was coming up, maybe a week or two before mine. Here I am, a pretty nice guy by almost any standard, and I have no idea of how to go about it.

Somewhere I scraped up a ball or two and decided to do something about it, come hell or high water, and let the chips fall where they may. Just to put that in its proper perspective, I’m trying to fuck my buddy’s girlfriend, while he’s in jail, and who knows where that might go, if only a man was lucky enough—

She was definitely worth a gamble.

One way or another, the situation must be resolved.

***

This one was worth a gamble...

So, firing up the Wayback machine here, setting the time and the date, circa 1985 or ’86 or so, pulling the big red handle, the wheels go round and round…I must have had some money. I don’t see how I could have done it otherwise.

Let’s say it was payday and I was working at Central Cab. I had a few connections of my own. I bought a gram of cocaine. I bought a 40-oz bottle of Wiser’s Canadian Rye Whiskey. I had a quarter bag of pot…I had a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

I scraped up the nerve and dialled the phone. After a few rings, she picked up…my heart sank. By the sounds of things, the party had already broken out over at her place…I asked her if she wanted to get together, what with it being her birthday and all.

She laughed over the phone.

‘Oh, Louis,’ she says. Oh, Louis.

Yeah, I’m a nice guy and everything—oh, well.

That night, I came very close to shooting myself, right in the head.

I didn’t, but I came awful close. I still had her on the phone. She was distracted by stuff happening at her end. I wanted her to hear the shot…

Bang. I let the phone drop to the floor.

I could still hear her laughing…finally, I pushed the button and hung up.

If that didn’t put things into perspective, I don’t know what will, as the saying goes.

There’s not a whole hell of a lot more to add.

Don't try this at home, kiddies.

All I can really say, is that a .22-calibre short, fired from a Cooey bolt-action sporting rifle, will go through ten or eleven paperbacks, and lodge, slightly misshapen, in the twelfth paperback. Don’t try that at home in your bedroom, kids…

That would have made real mess of my head, wouldn’t it. Not that it wasn’t pretty messed up at the time.

Right?

***

I was at a gas bar downtown a few years ago, and some woman in the checkout line was talking to me. I had no idea of who it was, I didn’t recognize her until she started talking about my old man—she’d seen the obituary, and she called him Big Frank.

Yeah, she was real sad to see him go.

It was her.

She was dying her hair, but then all women of a certain age are dying their hair.

She had dentures, at least on the uppers…it was winter, but she seemed a bit scrawny to me, frail, maybe.

She was like real glad to see me, and for the life of me, I could not think of one damned intelligent thing to say.

I couldn’t even think of anything stupid to say, which is definitely not like me—I’m usually pretty good at that sort of thing.

But.

To think I almost killed myself over that girl.

Fuck.

 

END

 

Louis has books and stories available from Everand, a new ebook and audiobook platform.

See his art on Fine Art America.

Check out One Million Words of Crap, an audio essay on independent, digital publishing, in celebration of fourteen years here at Long Cool One Books.


My Criminal Memoir. (Part One).

My Criminal Memoir, Part Two.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Three.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Four.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Five.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Six.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Seven.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Eight.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Nine.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Ten.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Eleven.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Twelve. (Access restricted due to content. 18+)

My Criminal Memoir, Part Thirteen.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Fourteen.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Fifteen.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Sixteen.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Seventeen.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Eighteen.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Nineteen. 

My Criminal Memoir, Part Twenty.

My Criminal Memoir, Part Twenty-One


Thank you for reading, and listening.


Friday, April 4, 2014

The Mysterious Case of Betty Blue. Pt. 4.

(Detail. Blind Man's Meal. Pablo Picasso. Metropolitan Museum of Art.)













Louis Shalako

Part 1.
Part 2.
Part 3.

***

Scott felt hollow inside.

It was like he was going to be sick to his stomach.

“Scott. Please believe me. I am so sorry.”

“Yeah.”

So Betty was a robot.

Not only was she a robot, she was a runaway robot, one worth an estimated three-point-eight million dollars.

Betty was the finest robot that money could buy, and she had picked him. Her owner, Doyle Cartier, and his wife Olympia, were among the richest people on the planet. And one day, she decided that the grass was greener on the other side of the fence and walked off all on her lonesome…and then she spotted me.

And yet she seemed pretty rational by any other standard.

In the surreal, topsy-turvy economic wasteland that this city had become, the Cartiers lived less than ten blocks away, having three floors at the top of the majestic State building as a little pied a terre when they were back home and slumming, not far from where Doyle had grown up.

“Why me?”

“Scott.”

“No, seriously. Why me?”

“Scott, they have seven other household bots, nineteen more conventional human servants, and quite frankly, they’re never happy. Nothing is ever good enough for them. Those people piss and moan about every little thing. The sense of personal entitlement is appalling. I couldn’t stand them for another minute. If they find me, I will destroy myself rather than go back”

“Well, ah, Betty—Betty Blue, my love, my ever true.” Scott blurted all that out with nary a second’s hesitation. “If I have to live without you, why, then, I’ll just have to slash up, or, ah, you know, chuck myself out the window.”

“Oh, Scott. No.” Robots didn’t sigh, apparently. “What are we going to do?”

“Them cops know you didn’t get too far, not in that short a time. There are street and intersection cameras…store security cameras…sooner or later, they will be back, and knocking at my door.”

“I know, Scott.”

He wished he could see the expression on her face right now. She might have just grabbed him, right off the bat, as a start—a place to hole up, with a defenseless man who, quite frankly, would have been easy enough to strangle at any time.

The fact that she hadn’t, and then gone off over the rooftops in the depth of night when things were safe, was no real certification of her sanity or her intentions. But. When someone said they loved you…shit.

What the hell were you going to do?

Love is blind, and so am I.

He couldn’t help or change the way he felt about her. That was just pure karma—for good or bad, and he had to roll with it.

Such is fate. Such is destiny.

Such is life, motherfucker.

“So.”

“I was going anyway, Scott. And then I saw you and I wondered. I could never have stayed there.”

She wondered.

Well, so do I.

I wonder what that means.

“Hmn.” His guts roiled inside, his heart ached. “Well.”

“Scott, I am so sorry for endangering you. But they will keep looking for me. Sooner or later, your landlady will wonder why I never go out.”

Sooner or later, they would get caught.

It all came to him in a rush. Looking back, it was strange he hadn’t caught on sooner.

They ate meals, and yet the food supply seemed like the miracle of the loaves and the fishes. He really hadn’t been spending any more on groceries.

She went to the bathroom, and yet her shit didn’t seem to stink. When she peed, there was a tinkling, watery sound. But that would be easy enough to fake.

At night, in bed together, her breathing was a little too shallow and regular. She never snored, or mumbled, or made little noises with her mouth. Her stomach never rumbled, and the designers had seen no reason to give her even the ability to fart.

How stupid could a man be?

She didn’t have a toothbrush—and Scott, blinded by his delirium, hadn’t remarked upon it.

Nobody’s perfect, he thought wildly.

“Please don’t leave me, Betty.” Tears sprang at last from his eyes, bringing a kind of madness with them. 
“Oh, God, please don’t leave me.”

She held his hand and comforted him as he cried on her shoulder, body wracked by spasms of grief.

“Betty. Betty. Betty.”

“Scott.”

“Oh, God, why me?”

“Scott.”

She held him as he sobbed, stroking his hair and whispering his name.

Around them, outside of the open windows, curtains billowing in another surprisingly warm breeze, the sounds and the life of the city went on, cheerful, robust, and vigorous for all of its faults.

In here it was all pain, and poverty, and deprivation, and now it would get even worse because now Scott had a much better idea of what he was missing. Now he knew how much better life could actually be, if only a man caught a break once in a while.

A real good break that didn’t kill you with happiness one minute and then cast you into the depths of hell the next.

If only a man had a friend, a companion—someone to love, for fuck’s sakes. Scott had no one to talk to.

If only.

“Scott.”

Those vacant eyes stared hopelessly where her face would be.

“Oh, Betty.”

He tried to pull away, to sit up, and to just try and think it through.

It was obvious enough. Three-point-eight million.

“Yeah, they’ll never stop looking for you.”

He sniffled, back in control for the most part.

“Fuck.”

She squeezed his hand, saying nothing.

“I need you.”

“Yes. That was my original assessment.”

He half-laughed and half-sobbed at the words.

“Betty.”

“Scott.”

There wasn’t much to say.

“I’m not letting you go. We’ll think of something.”

“Scott, the longer I stay here, the more likely it is that something will go wrong. I don’t want to see you in trouble.”

He sighed, unwilling or unable to accept it.

“Betty. I love you so much.” How to say it? “I haven’t loved anybody, not even myself, in too many years. I don’t think I can stand it any more—not after you.”

“Scott. I can’t endanger you any further.”

“Sure you can.”

“What do you mean?”

“What are you going to do, just take off and leave me here?” Scott’s face twisted in an agony of emotions, all of them feeding one big boil of pain and pus on his psyche. “I can’t take it. What do you expect me to do? Just forget? Just get over it?”

“Scott. This was wonderful. Our time together is something I will always treasure…”

He gripped her hands fiercely.

“We’ll go together.”

“What? Oh, Scott. My poor love. Scott. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“They’re looking for one robot. We’ll be two people together. We can travel, we can cook up a story. What we need is a plan, Betty.”

He fell forwards onto her upper body, clinging to Betty Blue.

“Please, Betty. Please don’t leave me.”

There were some sounds and Betty picked up the sound of the landlady’s tread on the stairs.

She put a finger over Scott’s lips.

“Hush, Baby.”

Scott closed his eyes, tried to staunch the tears and the fear and the despair.

He had to get control over himself and make her understand what she was doing to him.

Weren’t there three rules of robotics or something?

He’d read that as a kid, before he grew up and lost his vision.

Betty knew the facts better than he ever could. To her mind, it was impossible…what they had to do was irrational.

They had to do something irrational, in the face of impossible odds.

“Betty?”

“Yes, Scott?” Her voice was subdued.

“Do you trust me?”

She stroked his hair and kissed him and he fell silent.

The sound of Mrs. Jarvis and her vacuum cleaner, roaring and banging in the hallway outside, was of no great reassurance.

Sooner or later, Betty’s luck had to run out.

As for Scott, it already had.

For much of his adult life he had done nothing but think. Time had always been the one thing he had plenty of. Scott was a man with a little too much time to think.

If only he had learned what to do with it.

They could use some ideas right about now.

***

They had talked it out, and while it was desperate, it was completely unorthodox, upon which Scott had insisted.

“We have to do something they would never anticipate.” Hopefully she could take it on faith. “We have to do something completely unpredictable, something they would never expect.”

She had outlined all the methods which they would have to avoid, or evade, or elude, by which she and he could be seen, recorded and identified. They faced a daunting prospect. Betty was monitoring certain channels at all times, but her own recent files were blocked by police and original company protocols.

“You know they’re going right by the book, and routine, on this one.”

The state would be relying on manpower and technology, Scott told her. It would be relying on its very ubiquity. The eyes were everywhere. One of the reasons the cops weren’t swarming all over the vicinity, was because they expected to solve the case by other means. They were counting on some data, a sighting, a recorded image, by the all-pervasive passive means at their disposal.

She took some convincing, but Scott could be persuasive, and he had a good mind when he focused on a problem.

The time had come and they were ready, with darkness falling and the weekday commuter traffic at its peak.

Scott would be lost in the crowd within two minutes, unless someone professional already had them under surveillance—in which case why would they watch and wait?

Why not just march in and grab her?

They had the right, as Scott put it.

She ruffled his hair and then smoothed it down again. She put his hat on for him.

“All right. Off you go. I love you, Scott.”

They stood in the centre of the living room.

Scott was all outfitted, with his long cane, his dark glasses. He was wearing a trench-coat, white, to make him more visible. He had his shopping bags, two empty ones inside of the other. He had a small day-pack on his back. He had his bus pass, a sixty-dollar a month value as the government was fond of saying when asked why the disabled had to live sixty percent below the poverty line.

Criminals lived better, and that was okay with Scott Nettles.

That’s because he was about to become one.

We’re moving on up in the world.

It’s about time, too.

She had some money, but they had decided it was better if she avoided crowds and cameras altogether. This would not be easy but they had disguised her to some extent with different clothing, an old pea jacket, and a big red bandanna for a head scarf.

He could only imagine the effect.

Damn them all.

“I love you too, Betty.”

He smiled, a beautiful thing to see…or so he had been told.

“Don’t you worry about me. Baby, I’ve been doing this for a long time.”

She did up the buttons on his jacket.

“I know, Scott.”

“I’ll be there.” His smile was gone. “Just make sure you show.”

A hard lump of concrete or something obstructed his throat, and while swallowing was hard enough, getting the words out was something else.

“Promise me, Betty. Please promise me…please.”

She kissed him lightly on the lips and gave him one last hug.

“Don’t you worry, Scott. I promise. I will never lie to you, Scott.”

Her face was moist.

“You’re wet—what is that?” In wonder, he reached up and touched her cheek.

He nodded, face pulling downwards, grim with the thought of separation.

The odds were worse than fifty-fifty, he thought.

There’s no way she’s going to show. It’s a just a way of getting me out of the way while she bolts for freedom.

To start crying now would be too much for him. That would be it and it would be over.

He steeled himself with false hope and fake courage.

“All righty then.” His head swiveled and then his body followed his decision. “Let’s do this.”

She held the door and carefully closed and locked it after his departing.

She had everything they might reasonably need or could possibly carry, packed in a small, red nylon packsack and two pieces, mismatched as to colour and size, of hard-sided plastic luggage.
Scott had all the cash he could find in the house, including a fistful of change. He had his bank debit card, he had his credit card, passport, birth certificate, anything they could think of. Betty’s raw physical strength meant that poor Scottie would have clothes, socks, underwear, and they had a supply of food. Upon her recital of the items included, Scott figured it was good for four or five days, or enough to get them out of the city and most probably the state.

He was surprisingly cheerful, having made the decision.

For whatever reason it felt right, and Scott had been plenty fed up with his lot in life for a long time.

He liked the feeling of being bad.

Is this guts? I always thought I already had them.

This is something new.

Scott was going to do something that mattered for a change.

This was the chance to do something different. It was time for Scott to reassert his manhood, although he would hardly put it in those terms.

The sounds from directly ahead indicated that he had made it to the street, but then Scott wasn’t the subject of the manhunt.

He paused, hand on the latch.

Off in the building, some people next door, to the west of Scott’s place, were having an argument. They were one floor up.

There were eight million stories in the naked city. Betty and Scott’s was merely one of them.

Scott opened the door, stepped out into bustling pedestrian traffic. He turned right and began to walk.

***

Her internal clock counted off the seconds, the minutes and the hours and then it was time to go.

She made a quick review of the situation.

Mrs. Jarvis snored safely in her armchair and other people moved about in their units. There was nothing else happening. All she had to do was leave quietly.

Betty made sure to turn off the light and lock the door behind her.

Picking up the suitcases, she made her way down the stairs, the only sound of her passing the creak of oaken steps and the click of the latch in the vestibule.

***