Reporting on Androgynous Unicorns.

by Louis Bertrand Shalako

c2010

All Rights Reserved


A funny thing about journalists is that they never answer questions! But it's pretty simple.

A reporter always knows far more than he can safely tell anyone.

Ask a reporter, 'How come so-and-so is not running in the election?'

The reporter will not say, 'Because his wife is undergoing chemotherapy, his son is in rehab, his eldest daughter just dropped out of university and eloped, the baby has the measles, the car is broke, the cat has a broken leg and he doesn't have the money..."

That's not a reporter or even a commentator; that is a gossip.

A reporter is also a student of human nature, and he knows damn well you will run, not walk; to the nearest doughnut shop, and belt all this out at the top of your lungs to a very interested audience, and it is none of their beusiness is it?

What a reporter is supposed to do is to ask questions, and they will not contradict a statement made by any person. It never happens!

(And if the Mayor says the moon is made of blue cheese and inhabited by androgynous unicorns, then I suppose that really would be front-page news. The public has a right to know about that!)*

All they can really do is write it up, report it, and let the consumer decide what is truth and what isn't.

Is it the job of a reporter to educate to some extent?

I would say yes. When that becomes persuasion rather than education, then ladies and gentlemen, we have a problem.

*It is the opinion of this writer that all unicorns are androgynous.