The First Day of the Rest of My Life. Louis Shalako.

From quiet contemplation comes Chaos.

Louis Shalako 

My first novel has been accepted for the new Independent and Self-Published local author section in the Sarnia Public Library. Heaven is Too Far Away is my WW I Royal Flying Corps memoir, ladies and gentlemen.

(It took 2 ½ years to write. I cried when my old Pentium II computer blew up and took over 80,000 words with it…I published that in 2010 in ebook format and that’s where the learning curve really began.)

(Louis was so poor, he had to write his own books, although things are a little better now. – ed.)

A couple of days later, I submitted Core Values, science fiction and horror with autobiographical elements, and it too has been accepted.

It’s a fairly simple task. All you need is an ISBN number, and then you need a cover image to attach. You need a name, a phone number and an address.

Oh—don’t forget to write a few books first.

I also have an estimated 33 books including short story collections, a poetry book and five pen names. Two of those pen names have standalone books of their own, and four of them have a collection of their own short stories, while poor old Louis Shalako has four collections. These are book-length projects, although I have dozens, possibly hundreds of short stories and novellas which are just too short to put in print form—hence the aforesaid collections. My last couple of books are not in print. Amazon’s publishing site has absolutely baffled me insofar as getting a paperback cover on the books. The old Createspace was far easier to use, once I’d learned it.

Anyhow.

It doesn’t seem like a real good idea to just dump all those books in some poor over-worked librarian’s lap, so I have promised myself not to go too crazy all at once.

Let’s hope I can restrain myself…

The thing to do is to get as many books as possible into the library, and then when I get renovicted, which confers the popular ‘mental-health/addictions’ tags as a matter of course, I will be able to hold up my head with pride as I pitch my little pup tent down at Sarnia’s Rainbow Park. Rainbow Park is not gay or anything, ladies and gentlemen. It’s just named after the rainbow, which only the sickest of #basterds could ever hate.

Okay, so you get your book into the library. One, they have to purchase the book from somewhere, and there will be royalties. Also, there is such a thing as lending rights. No professional publisher neglects such rights, and the really big guys and gals have their books in libraries all over Canada and probably the world. This can add up to significant additional income, although in my case it will be rather small. I have no idea of what to expect, having become rather used to rejection over the last fifteen years.

Link to Lending Rights source.

If nothing else, it is a learning experience, and that’s what keeps us young and hopeful.

At some point, I will cleverly disguise myself as a scruffy old man and make the pilgrimage down there and have a look.

Let’s hope I don’t poop my pants in sheer joy.

***

In other important news, my story The Trophy, science-fiction, flash fiction of 1,000 words or less, has been translated into German. No pay, but then it doesn’t cost anything either, and it’s a good feeling. A far, distant editor liked the story well enough to do the work of translation, and that really is a shot in the arm in psychological terms.

They know nothing about you, and care nothing either way.

What matters to them is the story—

Here’s your chance to brush up on the high school Deutsch.

Waking up at 3:40 a.m., I leaped out of bed and ran out to check my bank account online.

All of the proper benefits had been deposited. Canada Pension Plan, Old Age Security, Guaranteed Income Supplement, and the Guaranteed Annual Income Supplement.

It’s quite a chunk of money, compared to the $1,400.00 approximately, from the dingbats over at the Ontario Disability Support Program.

Also, coming up in October are the HST rebate, Carbon Tax rebate, the Trillium Benefit, and the Canada Workers Benefit. There’s an easy five hundred that I don’t have to work for.

In spite of anything that drooling idiot Monsieur Pierre Poilievre says, this is the greatest country in the world.

Don’t you ever doubt that, ladies and gentlemen—

So, the first day of the rest of my life begins with black coffee and pain pills, crushed up so they don’t stick in my craw.

The cheap-ass champagne is slated for a bit later on.

Assuming my fucking shitty old car starts, and stuff like that.

 

END

 

Here’s the story in the Sarnia Observer.

Here’s the link to the actual form.

Here’s a bonus story, replete with links to 28 fantasy and science-fiction markets, which pay in actual money.

Pro tip: at the end of each writing session, email your story to yourself. That way, when your computer blows up, just go buy another one. Hack back into all of your accounts, and there it is, your story, not all blown up, in other words. And get yourself a really good chair. You will thank me for this later on.

 

Thank you for reading.