Grandma Shalako Never Worked a Day in Her Life. Louis Shalako.

The late Irene Ryan as Grandma Shalako.

Louis Shalako

What if a person had never worked in their life? Grandma Shalako's job was the house, the kitchen, the bedding, the laundry. 

Cleaning the bathroom. 

She raised eight squalling kids in a three-bedroom house, and she was a very good Catholic. 

When her youngest, my dad, Big Frank came along she was in her forties.

He was her little boy, which sort of grated on him. When he told her he was getting married, she threw her head back and laughed. She thought he must be joking. He was still flying model airplanes, and going off to Scout Jamborees, perhaps that was it.

At some point her job was looking after my Uncle Ed, who had taken over the business when grandpa passed away. This is almost funny. Turning 65, one day there was a cheque in the mail from the Canada Pension folks. She was afraid of it. It had to be explained to her. Someone helped her open a bank account, probably Ed. When she died, every freaking penny of it was still in the bank. She'd never had a cent of her own, unless she’d won it at cards down at the Masonic Lodge. I believe she enjoyed taking money off of all the nice Protestant ladies. Basically, Ed gave her household money and wrote all the checks and stuff like that.

Born about 1898, Eugenie had a grade six education if that. Coming from the Hull, Quebec area, her English was very good, yet she still said “Please pass the pommes de terres,” when she wanted the mashed potatoes. Hull is just across the river from Ottawa, and even today, there is still a lot of intercourse between the two cities. The Great Depression put a lot of people out of work and maybe Sarnia just had better prospects.

I don’t think they were running from the law or anything like that.

Debt, maybe—but not the law.

Taking over the family business at 17 years of age, Uncle Ed had, at best, a grade nine or ten education. With eight children, one would imagine Eugenie liked sex—pretty much everybody does, and in the end, she might have gotten a little tired of it. When grandma died, each of her eight children got a cheque from the estate for $700.00 or so, and Ed inherited the house and the business. We can put that down to sweat equity—he’d built the business up to an extent, kept it going and paid for the house and all other expenses for many years.

Yeah, they’d been paying $25.00 a month in rent for the longest time, so Ed made the owner an offer and bought the place for three or four grand, which sounds ludicrous these days, but those were very different times.

Nowadays, the two-income family has become the norm, perhaps even a necessity. There have always been single parents, in the Depression they scrabbled for their living as best they could. In a time where women particularly, didn’t get much higher education, it was a challenge. Also, in the Depression, there weren’t enough jobs to go around to begin with, and this probably went double for unskilled women.

Good for delivering tombstones...

My grandfather sold and installed monuments. Tombstones, ladies and gentlemen, using planks, rollers and brute labour to get them into the back seat area of a 1928 Hudson. The compressor for sandblasting was a screw-in fitting which utilized an old Model-T Ford engine, which would somehow keep running with one cylinder providing pressure for the sandblasting, used to cut names and dates into the granite slabs. With portability, the date of decease of a second spouse for example, could be done in situ, that is to say right in the cemetery after the stone had been erected.

It must have been a wonderful thing, for Uncle Ed to finally get an actual pickup truck, and a set of chain-falls for the garage where the work was done. For a young kid, always hungry for money, it was something of a thrill, to work on a Saturday, putting up a tombstone in a Lambton cemetery, and earning a whopping five dollars for the trouble.

Ed used to sing, as he drove along.

“Every little breeze, seems to whisper Louise, the birds and the bees, seem to whisper Louise—”

The sort of thing you never forget. If you have to have a crazy Uncle, there’s nice crazy, and then there are other kinds. Ed was a nice kind of crazy.

There is a kind of heritage there.

Our family has a reputation for hard work and fine Italian craftsmanship—which is pretty good considering we’re just a bunch of Frenchmen, une bande de foutus français.

The past really is a foreign country, but at least I understand the language.

 

END

Louis Shalako has books and stories available from Amazon. The audiobook is free with membership. Click on the author’s name to see the full list.

Louise. Maurice Chevalier. (Youtube)

Here’s a rather stylish air compressor based on the Ford Model A.

Thank you for reading.

 

 

Classics. On Buying an MGB. Louis Shalako.

This yellow '71 has the wire wheels, side marker lamps and looks nicely complete. The exact mirrors mine had...

Louis Shalako

I was coming home one night in the MGB. I was eighteen years old, and I just loved driving that thing. It was Egremont Road, it's pretty dark and there are curves along certain stretches. And there's little flashes of light from under the dashboard. I hit another bump, more flashes. British cars of the era were known for the Lucas electricals. The company did not have much of a reputation compared to some of the American companies such as Delco. Labour troubles and constant strikes, go-slows and frankly, assembly-line sabotage were not unheard-of in the U.K. of that era.

Putting my left hand under there and feeling around, sparks fell onto my legs. Fucking loose wires and connections. The guy who had it before me was not, shall we say, mechanically inclined. Twisting the ends together, a bit of electrical tape is all very well, but the tape dries out and comes loose after a while—yet you can buy all kinds of connectors that crimp on and then, you wrap that with tape...British cars of that time did not have plastic panels under the dash—assuming you could crawl in, lie on your back on the seats, you could see and reach pretty much everything. I spent a little time on the electrical system, I can tell you that much...it was, quite literally, a pain in the neck.

#vehicles

If it wasn’t for that car, I’d probably still be a virgin.

This red one is listed at $12,000.00 firm. There is a later model, a 1978. Those had the rubber bumpers, engine de-tuned to 62.5 bhp, all the pollution control, and the ride height jacked by about 1.0 ". I'm not too interested in the '66, due to the three main bearing engine, and the '78 looked kind of rough plus they're way down on power. That ’66 might be a positive-ground electrical system, I’d have to check. They would have a generator as opposed to an alternator. 

These two vehicles are at least in town, I could at least go and have a look at them.

For me, in a North American model, the optimum would be a 1969-1974, something like that. They have the five main bearing engine, and they’re just in the early stages of pollution control, for the first three years or so in that period, still producing the rated 94 bhp. The ride height is the 'proper' height. The bonus with this car is it is claimed to be a N. Carolina car, where presumably, there is a hell of a lot less salt used on the roads, which contributes to corrosion. The basic car can be upgraded, modified, changed to negative ground, an alternator, even a bolt-on supercharger from Moss Motors. My '71 had been treated with Ziebart rust control, which was fine underneath, but it took a lot of work to get it out of the engine compartment--a lot of rags and spray-on Gunk took care of that; although traces remained in the nooks and crannies. Considering what I just said above, you can throw endless amounts of money at a car that will never bring that back in resale value…a bit of tough love, but it is also honest.

Red '66, $12,000.00.

This article is as much fantasy as non-fiction. I looked on Kijiji here in Sarnia, and there were two MGBs for sale, one for $12,000.00 and one for $9,999.00. Searching Kijiji Ontario, I found 35 ads for MGBs and related products. This would be a good place to find used parts, project vehicles and NIB parts and accessories. I would also point out that someone, will almost inevitably buy these cars on the private sale market. It might take a little time, especially if the owner wants to get their price, but they will sell.

I think you have to decide exactly what you’re looking for. The cleanest car of the bunch may still not be matching numbers, original and exact, and will never win the Concours d’Elegance. Yet the cleanest car of the bunch, might still be the best if you’re looking for a daily driver—something almost unheard of, as these vehicles are the stuff of nostalgia as well as genuine antiques in terms of the technology of the day.

1971 Roadster.

Yeah. I stole a few pics here, but this is essentially the dashboard of my ’71, (below). The original shift knob was a small black ball with the pattern molded in and etched in white. This one, and mine, did not have a glove box, just a padded bolster in front of the passenger.

A couple of minor points here. I am not in any way an authority on MGs, and there is no good reason to post too many links here. Car ads will disappear on Kijiji, in that sense link rot is inevitable. The reader can just Google ‘MGB for Sale’ in your preferred market and shop your way down that list. There are other car sales websites, some of whom specialize in sports cars. I follow a page on Facebook, an auto sales shop specializing in just these sort of classic vehicles. I just like looking at the pictures, but seeing a clean, right-hand drive MGC—the six-cylinder version, going for twenty-two thousand pounds tells you something as well. These are the folks buying the history, and the more documentation you have, the more original it is, the more well done it is, I guess that drives up the price. I really don’t think you’re going to find too much of that in the Canadian market, and in my case, I think I’d just like to drive it rather than compete against rich guys with a lot more resources than I will ever have.

The split rear bumper and rallye steel wheels.

My point here is to educate yourself. I know that I can at least work on an MGB. Join a club, an association. Subscribe to the newsletters, and get to know some of the people.

I have hundreds of hours of experience, working on the MGB. I’m also too tall to drive a Spitfire, Midget/Sprite, or the GT-6, surely one of the most pleasing small car designs ever. The TR-6 commands a higher price due to the six-cylinder engine, and Healeys are very pricey vehicles.

I know what I want, and I know why I want it. I want a left-hand drive, 1971 MGB roadster, preferably in the Primrose Yellow. Low mileage would be good, and good steel in all the right places would be even better…I can pretty much fix anything else, bearing in mind all it takes is money. A guy like me would set a budget, and do as much of the work myself as humanly possible. A real labour of love, and maybe that’s the best way to look at it. It’s best to have a family driver, and the MGB is your new toy. In my case, good running condition and a recent safety check would give me some confidence in the machine and the purchase.

The cheapest car I saw was around $1,700.00. The body needed work—a lot of work, and yet that might be reasonable, assuming every other bit of the car was at least there—there is some market for parts, some (or most), of which might be applicable to your own driver. Also, if you really are good at body work and have your own shop and tools, what the hell. It’s an adventure, a learning experience, and you might end up with a pretty good car—that ’66 is still worth $12,000.00 after all, at least that is the asking price. People have picked up an old Buick Skylark and thrown $60,000.00 into it. They don’t drive them, not too often. They take them to shows, they take them to the drag strip. They throw ten-thousand-dollar paint-jobs on them. In that sense, nothing about this fantasy is practical.

I believe there is a company still pressing panels for the MGB, and a fellow at Obsolete Automotive in Pt. Edward Ontario, once told me that you could build a complete, brand-new MGB from parts if you seriously wanted to spend the money.

It’s important to define what you want. It’s important to shop around, and not to buy the first one you see. A driveable MGB in ‘relatively’ good condition might be a lot of fun to drive for a few months in summer, and then you put it back in the garage and leave it for next year. I drove mine for about seven years, winter, summer, spring and fall. It was a used car when I bought it, and there was some corrosion in the sills, mostly. I took the rugs out one day, and driving it home in the rain, I hit a puddle and I was blasted by dirty water coming up through holes in the driver’s side floor…I cut some mild steel and tack- welded in 10-gauge plating, (right on top, leaving the old floor in place) a crude repair but that thing was never going to be a show car—yet structural strength is still important.

I bought the car for $1,500.00, and sold it seven or eight years later for $400.00. I had everything sorted out—except the body, which was a shitty red-brown primer. I probably spent ten thousand on it, over the course of that time…still, it was a wonderful time of my life and I still refer back to it. All that nostalgia, right.

I still miss that car.

I still miss that girl, if you want to know the truth.

 

END

 

Obsolete Automotive.

South Norfolk Classics.

MossMotors.

MGB. (Wiki)

The History of the MGB. (Youtube)

Louis Shalako has books and stories available from Google Play. This one is a freebie, The Mysterious Case of Betty Blue.

See his works on Fine Art America.

Thank you for reading.