Showing posts with label agatha christie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label agatha christie. Show all posts

Saturday, April 1, 2023

A Stranger In Paris, an Inspector Gilles Maintenon Mystery #9, Pt. 34. Louis Shalako.

That's von, Schleischer.

 










Louis Shalako


Gilles, Andre and Margot, along with Alphonse and Doctor Poirier, stood around the pull-out drawer containing the corpse. The doctor picked one—

“Andre. Is your gender important to you?”

“I never leave home without it.”

The doctor grinned.

It was all very mystifying, but he’d insisted that they come down, anyone, really, and have a look for themselves. He wasn’t going to tell them otherwise, and he might not even send them a report…the pictures would be lurid indeed, as he had said on the phone. It had been enough, curiosity being what it was.

Piling into the car, they’d headed for the morgue.

The photos also required some interpretation.

The young doctor reached for the white shroud of the cotton sheet, bleached this one too many times, oddly, pulling it up feet-first in some aberration from accepted tropes…

“Ah.”

They stared.

“This individual has not been circumcised.”

Poirier pulled it off the rest of the way.

“Well. There you have it, then.” He cleared his throat, eyes magnified by the thick glasses as he stood regarding his attentive audience. “It is extremely unusual, at least according to the literature, to have such a full and complete development of…well, of both sets of sexual organs.”

He’d never seen one before, although apparently there was a certain small percentage of the human race born with the condition.

“There is even some vestigial development of the mammaries, which tells us something about the glands and the, ah, hormones…you have to understand the hormones and all of that sort of thing.” They stared. “Also, the body is relatively hairless. This includes facial hair, not so much pubic hair or in the armpits. Bearing all of this in mind, it is indeed quite possible, with the aid of wigs and makeup, for this person to have passed as a woman. I mean, let’s face it. A man, clean-shaven, with minimal makeup, dressed as a woman, might very well be able to walk into the ladies room, sit in a cubicle, and urinate or defecate, and no one would ever be the wiser. There are plenty of ugly women in the world. This might be quite handy under certain circumstances, that ability to bend their gender and go almost anywhere at will. And then there is poor old Gilles, looking in the wrong bathroom.”

Then, according to him, as they all stood there open-mouthed, there were the psychological aspects of such a person, engaged in such-and-such an enterprise, or almost any enterprise.

“Statistically, one-point-seven percent or so of all human beings have some sort of intersex trait, and half a percent have a clinically observable, physical, sexual or reproductive variation. I mean that in the sense that it is quite different from classic homosexuality, which as we know nowadays is more of a psychological manifestation.”

He looked up happily.

“I’ve never even seen one, myself, although Doctor Auger said he’s seen two or three. I’ve seen diagrams in a textbook and that’s about it. Quite frankly, I’m taking lots and lots of pictures, and dissecting very carefully. I’m thinking of writing a little monograph on the subject…”

The doctor cleared his throat and went on.

“Daily living might have been very different for such a person. Difficult, even. Knowing from a very young age, that they were somehow, shamefully different. Keeping it a secret, from friends, in school, from the neighbours and the church and the employers, and finally, the political party. To experience the shame of one’s parents and siblings. That look in grandpa’s eyes…when you walked into the room.”

He had a captive audience, that was for sure.

“This person would have wanted to be accepted, above all else—”

"...just trying to stay out of a camp, when you think of it..."

There weren’t too many ways to do that, except to be more ignorant, more cruel, more vicious than the next Nazi.

“They would have wanted to be loved, more than anything, and yet. I would bet, that this person could not love themself…”

All of those youth groups. All of those regimented activities—regimented by the state. To have such a secret, in such an environment, well, it might have warped them pretty badly, as the good doctor put it. More than anything, just trying to please, maybe even just trying to get ahead. Just trying to survive, dignity intact, a lot of the time. Just trying to stay out of a camp, in the final analysis, what with the euthanization of what the Nazis saw as cretins and cripples and deviants. What kind of relationships this person might have had, were anyone’s guess.

“It would be extremely difficult, to have any kind of really close, physical relationship, one that was not abusive or exploitative…”

Someone, with an otherwise pretty good mind, tall, athletic, good-looking. The perfect ubermenschen, if only they hadn’t been so very, very imperfect. Imperfect in the sexual sense.

“That’s right, ladies and gentlemen: poor old Schleischer was a Nazi hermaphrodite.”

He cleared his throat.

“Sorry, ladies and gentlemen…von, Schleischer, that is…”

They broke up in laughs, as he had expected that they would.

He stood there, oblivious to the pink stains on his white apron, and he took a moment to pull off the surgical gloves.

All of this would be in the written report.

End.

                                                           About Louis Shalako

 

Louis Shalako is the founder of Long Cool One Books and the author of novels, novellas and short stories. Louis studied Radio, Television and Journalism Arts at Lambton College of Applied Arts and Technology, later going on to study fine art. He began writing for community newspapers and industrial magazines over thirty years ago. His stories appear in publications including Perihelion Science Fiction, Bewildering Stories, New Myths, Aurora Wolf, Ennea, Wonderwaan, Algernon, Nova Fantasia, and Danse Macabre. He lives in southern Ontario and writes full time. Louis enjoys cycling, swimming and good books.


Chapter One.

Chapter Two.

Chapter Three.

Chapter Four.

Chapter Five.

Chapter Six.

Chapter Seven.

Chapter Eight.

Chapter Nine.

Chapter Ten.

Chapter Eleven.

Chapter Twelve.

Chapter Thirteen.

Chapter Fourteen.

Chapter Fifteen.

Chapter Sixteen.

Chapter Seventeen.

Chapter Eighteen.

Chapter Nineteen.

Chapter Twenty.

Chapter Twenty-One.

Chapter Twenty-Two.

Chapter Twenty-Three.

Chapter Twenty-Four.

Chapter Twenty-Five.

Poor old Louis has been watching too many old movies.

Chapter Twenty-Six.

Chapter Twenty-Seven.

Chapter Twenty-Eight.

Chapter Twenty-Nine.

Chapter Thirty.

Chapter Thirty-One.

Chapter Thirty-Two.

Chapter Thirty-Three.

 

 

Louis has books and stories on Smashwords.

See his art on ArtPal.

Check out this other story here. Temple of the Jaguar God, by Zach Neal.

 

Thank you for reading.

 

  

 


Tuesday, December 30, 2014

On Influences, Good and Bad.

Robert E. Howard










Louis Shalako




On a Facebook post by Robert J. Sawyer, regarding the show Starlost, I made a comment that was only half facetious.

What I said was that we loved those old shows—and yet it was pretty bad TV even by the standards of the day. I wasn’t referring to Starlost in particular, only making a general comment. That’s what’s weird about movie remakes of beloved old TV shows. As often as not, critics and fans alike say it’s nothing like the original. Something is wrong with it—something is somehow missing.

Yet an objective comparison would probably reveal that everyone and everything in the modern version is far superior to the original show. The writing, the lighting, the camera work, the acting and direction, the sets and locations, it’s all better in the modern, big-budget production.

Ah, but we’re not seven or eight years old anymore, either.

We have developed some critical faculties.

A case in point would be The Rat Patrol. To an objective reviewer in his mid-fifties, the writing, the story, the detail, the plots are laughably bad. Yet even now, the show has something going for it. If nothing else it still has the characters, the desert, the adventure, the camaraderie, even the weapons. I would definitely like to write a desert adventure of some kind. I got to be honest, it will be better than that.

What would it take to make a successful re-make?

For one thing, some sort of a love interest, some sort of back-story, some sort of convincing action, some sort of convincing detail, some sort of convincing story...

Our remake would not be for eight year olds. It would be for those middle-aged kids who still remember that show. 

In this Wikipedia article, you will see that the critics had a lot to say about A.E. van Vogt’s work. I’ve only read one or two of his books, one of the Weapon Shops books for sure. Some part of that book, perhaps the mysteriousness of some elements, stuck with me to the extent that I remembered the name.

“In general van Vogt seems to me to fail consistently as a writer in these elementary ways: 1. His plots do not bear examination. 2. His choice of words and his sentence-structure are fumbling and insensitive. 3. He is unable either to visualize a scene or to make a character seem real.” > Damon Knight.

That seems like fairly harsh criticism. But Phillip K. Dick listed him among his influences—and I’ve read a few Phillip K. Dick novels as well.

Now, the very fact that I remembered a name and a title speaks well of the book. I would have to say that the work influenced me in a different way than good old Rat Patrol.

That’s because bad books, bad TV and bad films influence us just as much as good books, good TV and good films. They just influence us in a different way.

I love Andre Norton. Nice, simple statement.

Her A.D. 2250, the first proper sf novel she published, (she had written other things beforehand) was the first science fiction book I ever read. I was about fourteen at the time. But when I read Return to Quag Keep, many years later, co-written with Jean Rabe, based on the popular Dungeons and Dragons role-playing game, that’s when I knew I had to write.

I had to write science fiction, and I had to submit that science fiction to some New York publishers.

(Yes, Quag Keep is fantasy.)

But I mean seriously. There have been one or two books that hit me that way over the years. Fuck, if this thing got published then I really need to get in there.

Yeah, I hated that book, for whatever reason. I have to admit, I was never a player.

D & D fans probably loved the exact same book.

They have every right to do that.

The important thing to understand is that both good and bad influences affect us as writers. We love a book, and so therefore, we want to write one just like it.

We hate a book, or at least see its imperfections because we are competent enough in the same craft, and we decide not to do it that way ourselves. We might get so pissed off that we set out to do one that’s better.

There is a scene in the Rat Patrol series. A couple of the guys are taken prisoner. They turn the tables on the enemy and grab a German officer (or whatever). Then, rather than demand the horses from their Arab captors, they let them keep their rifles and horses. It seems they would prefer to walk across the desert with the weight of a hundred pounds of chain between them. Why would the Arabs be carrying such heavy chains? There are no panniers or baskets hanging off them there camels…

They outrun the camels and the rifles, by wandering aimlessly in the desert, with a hundred pounds of chain on them. You could at least have asked for the key.

By watching some bad TV we can often get some sort of idea of what works in writing a dramatic scene, and what is going to have the audience throwing up their hands in despair—or possibly their breakfasts.

Speaking of television, I used to watch Tarzan religiously on the boob-tube. Lydie Denier (Jane) will do that for a fellow. But I used to have a few of the pulpy old paperbacks, which I got from a used book store for fifty cents or whatever.

I had a few of the Conan the Barbarian books as well.

Robert E. Howard is a good influence on my work. In The Conqueror, I originally set out to create a world and some characters. His Conan was the starting point for what was supposed to be a short story of about 22,500 to 25,000 words.

Right now, the story stands at 57,200 words and it’s still going strong. It’s completely different from anything Robert E. Howard ever wrote, and that’s okay with me.

My mystery series is heavily influenced by everyone from Agatha Christie to, well…everyone, really.

It is also different from what they wrote.

It’s just that simple, and the other thing is that I would rather be working anyways. But with my new fantasy/alternate-historical/sf world, when I do get a shorter story, it may very well use the same characters and setting, and take the whole ethos somewhere new and interesting.

We have to do something to fill up the time.

We get to live the life of a writer, an artist, we get to be those things, which sure beats being a scruffy old man in ill-fitting pants, wearing a tweed chirper cap, wandering around the local malls and making surreptitious bird calls, thereby mystifying certain truant teenage girls and stuff like that…

***

According to this study, writing is nothing if not quality time.

I really can’t recommend it enough.


End